Nov 23, 2011

7 Habits of Highly Incompetent People

Once again, Stumbleupon has helped me with blog content - THANK YOU.  If you've ever read "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People," this is essentially the opposite.  Good luck!
Number 1 - They Think, Say, & Do Negative Things.

Yup. They see problems in every opportunity.

They complain that the sun is too hot. They cursed the rain for ruining their plans for the day. They blame the wind for ruining their hair.

They think that everyone is against them. They see the problems but never the solutions.

Every little bit of difficulty is exaggerated to the point of tragedy. They regard failures as catastrophes. They become discouraged easily instead of learning from their mistakes.

They never seem to move forward because they're always afraid to come out of their comfort zones.


Number 2 - They Act Before They Think.

They move based on instinct or impulse. If they see something they like, they buy at once without any second thought.

Then they see something better. They regret & curse for not able to take advantage of the bargain.

Then they spend & spend again until nothing's left. They don't think about the future. What they're after is the pleasure they will experience at present.

They don't think about the consequences. Those who engage in unsafe sex, criminality, and the like are included in this group.


Number 3 - They Talk Much More Than They Listen

They want to be the star of the show. So they always engage in talks that would make them heroes, even to the point of lying.

Oftentimes they are not aware that what they're saying is not sensible anymore.

When other people advise them, they close their ears because they're too proud to admit their mistakes.

In their mind they're always correct. They reject suggestions because that will make them feel inferior.


Number 4 - They Give Up Easily

Successful people treat failures as stepping stones to success.

Incompetent ones call it quits upon recognizing the first signs of failure.

At first, they may be excited to start an endeavor. But then they lose interest fairly quickly, especially when they encounter errors.

Then they go & search for a new one. Same story & same results. Incompetent people don't have the persistence to go on and fulfill their dreams.


Number 5 - They Try to Bring Others Down To Their Level

Incompetent people envy other successful individuals. Instead of working hard to be like them, these incompetent ones spread rumors and try every dirty trick to bring them down.

They could have asked these successful ones nicely. But no, they're too proud. They don't want to ask advise. Moreover, they're too negative to accomplish anything.


Number 6 - They Waste Their Time

They don't know what to do next. They may just be contented on eating, getting drunk, watching TV, or worse, staring at the blank wall with no thoughts whatsoever to improve their lives.

It's perfectly fine to enjoy once in a while. But time should be managed efficiently in order to succeed. There should be a proper balance between work & pleasure.


Number 7 - They Take the Easy Way Out


If there are two roads to choose from, incompetent people would choose the wider road with less rewards than the narrower road with much better rewards at the end.

They don't want any suffering or hardship. They want a good life.

What these people don't know is that what you reap is what you sow. Efforts & action will not go unnoticed.

If only they would be willing to sacrifice a little, they would be much better off.

Successful people made it through trials & error. They never give up. They are willing to do everything necessary to achieve what they aspire for in life.

Nov 14, 2011

How to Win Friends and Influence People

I literally stumbled upon this during my music literature, I'll do some more reading and hopefully divulge a little more on these topics later in my blog, but here's some things for consideration:

How to Win Friends and Influence People

This is Dale Carnegie's summary of his book, from 1936


Part One

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

  1. Don't criticize, condemn or complain.
  2. Give honest and sincere appreciation.
  3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.

Part Two

Six ways to make people like you

  1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
  2. Smile.
  3. Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
  4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
  5. Talk in terms of the other person's interests.
  6. Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely.

Part Three

Win people to your way of thinking

  1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
  2. Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say, "You're wrong."
  3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
  4. Begin in a friendly way.
  5. Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately.
  6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
  7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
  8. Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view.
  9. Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires.
  10. Appeal to the nobler motives.
  11. Dramatize your ideas.
  12. Throw down a challenge.

Part Four

Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment

A leader's job often includes changing your people's attitudes and behavior. Some suggestions to accomplish this:
  1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
  2. Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly.
  3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
  4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
  5. Let the other person save face.
  6. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be "hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise."
  7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
  8. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
  9. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

Oct 31, 2011

Self Motivation

It is incredibly easy to be extrinsically motivated.  There are many things that motivate us to go and do things: money, success, fame, fear of failure.  Practically everybody can be motivated if they are guaranteed to be given something or lose something based upon their success or failure, respectively.  But what do we gain from this besides the material or emotional things?  Just like the rest of the world, we have turned ourselves into these creatures with selfish attitudes.  We have essentially said that we will not work unless we gain something from it.

The problem is, in part, finding a reason to do what we do without extrinsic motivation.  How do we do things without the promise of a reward or a punishment?  By having a genuine desire to do so.  Genuineness is not something that can be faked.  It's very definition is "being authentic; not pretending."  In order to live our lives genuinely, it must be our desire to do what we are doing: going to school, working, studying just to gain the knowledge, practicing, going to church, etc.  Yes, there are benefits to the things that we do.  However, that should not be the reason that we actually follow through with our activities.

Self-motivation is not something that comes overnight.  Yes, sporadically we can feel motivated to do something out of the blue.  However, a constant genuineness is what we should strive for - the rest - the best part of doing something, the benefits - will come as a result.

Oct 16, 2011

Walk the Walk

We have all heard the phrase "If you're gonna talk the talk, you better be able to walk the walk."  It is my belief that we should not be "talking the talk" aloud unless asked or given the opportunity.  A lot of talk usually equals a lot of ego, and ego is never constructive or helpful - it is merely a selfish act used to promote ourselves.

If we are going to say that we are one thing, we better be that, yes?  Why say it though?  What is the purpose of stating what we are going to do, if we could just do it without the unnecessary talk.  This is the same thing as raising our hand during a lecture and, upon being called on, saying, "I have a question," and then stating your question.  This just wastes time and energy while promoting frustration and annoyance to those that are listening.

It is my belief that everything we say and do should serve a purpose to benefit ourselves (not our egos) or somebody else.  Think of all the things we say to promote our own importance: say that we know "so and so," brag about our grades, talk about our possessions.  Get rid of the extra, trim down the edges.  I promise that it will make the people around you happier and will give you more time and more energy.  To do this, we will need to be incredibly conscientious of the words that are coming out of our mouths.  If and when the words do slip and our egos come out to play, we better be sure that we follow through with our own words and promises.

Oct 9, 2011

"Choose to be Happy"

The other night, I attended a forum put together by the School of Music that talked about things to consider for when we graduate: graduate school, employment, where to be, how to save, etc.  Dr. Martin's portion of the evening talked about good things to know for life in general.  He opened and closed with the phrase, "Choose to be happy."  He did not expand upon it much, but it was a pretty simple statement.  Afterwards, I looked over the notes I had taken and that phrase kept jumping out at me.  Too many times I have chosen one thing over another because it was the easier thing to do at the time.


Happiness is defined as good fortune; pleasure; contentment; joy.  It's antonym is misery.  How many times have we gone through the day being miserable?  Or feeling miserable?  Well, if this is the case for more days than just the every-so-often off-day, then we are not doing what makes us happy.  


At this point in my own life, pursuing a music education degree, I feel both happy and miserable... More like I am happy to be working towards a more fulfilling happiness.  Every day, I am happy with the choice I have made to be at Texas State University, pursue a music education degree, and take on these challenges fully.  Regarding my relationships, I am overwhelmed with happiness.  My parents could not be more loving, caring, and understanding than they are and have been throughout my college career.  My sister and I have gotten to that point where we are actually friends now.  I could not as for a more compassionate, kind-hearted, selfless boyfriend to have spent the past 3 years with and who I will be happy with for a very, very, very long time.  I have, undoubtedly, the best friends in the world that put my happiness on their list of important things.  And of course, I am beyond blessed to have a God that makes me so incredibly happy.


I have chosen to worship my God.  I have chosen to pursue music education at Texas State University.  I have chosen to cultivate the relationships I have with the people in my life.  I can't say that I take credit for my own happiness - that is the Lord's doing, as he has pointed me in those directions - but I have made the decisions for myself.  I encourage you to seek happiness.  What is life without happiness?  Futile.  Don't choose futility.  Choose happiness.  Pursue happiness.  Pursue the life you want.

Oct 5, 2011

Who Really Matters

With every frustration, every sense of anger, and every tear, it is important to (after all the venting) step back and think about what and who truly has an impact on us and our lives.  I am, without doubt, a people-pleaser.  I like for everybody to be happy and I feel as though I should have control over their sense of happiness.  However, this is completely unrealistic.

Off the top of my head, I can name five people who's opinion of me matters: God, my parents, Nathaniel, Dr. Beatty, and Mr. Goodwin.  On the other end of the spectrum, I could name five people who's opinion of me is unimportant and that (in a few years) won't matter one bit.  When you feel as though you have messed up and who that has affected and how it has affected them, consider what that person thinks.  Then consider if that even matters.  It's not to say that pleasing people is not important, because if that person is your boss, your coworker, or your future boss or coworker, then they matter.

Today was tough.  I altered several people's opinion of me today.  I was incredibly upset afterwards.  Then, I stepped back for a moment.  I reasoned with myself.  I talked it out to other people, trying to be as completely un-biased as possible.  Each time I thought, I realized that what happened changed somebody else - not me.  In the future, today does not change anything.  I know that at the end of the day, I am who I am, I believe what I believe, and I will stick to my guns no matter what happens with any given person as long as the people who matter to me, think of me in the matter that I want them to.

So, we need to go about this by categorizing and prioritizing: what you want people to think about you and which people need to think that.  It is okay to have an initial reaction.  It is okay to get angry or sad or frustrated - that's what makes us human.  But venting is not enough, we must come to the logical conclusion that we are human, are not perfect, and can not please everybody.  But, truly, who needs to please every one they come across?

Oct 4, 2011

Be a Better Human

All this talk about trying to be the best you can be and striving for you very best all the time can be taxing.  For most of us, it would be difficult to give 150% on everything all the time - we only have so much brain power, concentration, and (quite frankly) motivation.  So, what is something that we can do every day that, at the very least, keeps us from slipping back into old habits of giving just 80% so that we have something left for ourselves: Be a better human.

It seems pretty simple.  My old band director use to always say "Figure it out," whenever anybody was not keyed in.  Instead of just merely figuring it out - trying to keep your head above water - take it a step further.  Do one thing at a time better.  Do one thing out of your nature or character that benefits somebody.  Off the top of my head, I can think of a hundred examples of things one could do to "be a better human."

Have you ever seen that bank commercial where somebody does something nice for somebody else while somebody watches and passes along the act of kindness?  This should be reality.  Make it your reality.  Spark more kindness.  Who knows, hopefully somebody will return the favor for you.